If you thought Arsenal’s quarter-final hopes were ruined by Madrid’s skills, think again—they were ruined by Madrid’s skills and Madrid’s lag. Despite teleporting avatars, delayed passes, and defenders moving like they were trapped in a PowerPoint slideshow, Los Blancos still smashed the Gunners 5–2 to book a semifinal spot in the IFA.
The star of the night was Whiiz23, who somehow scored while rubber-banding across the pitch. One Arsenal defender complained mid-match: “How am I supposed to mark someone who’s in three places at once?” Fair point.
At one stage, Madrid’s goalkeeper literally froze mid-dive, yet still managed to save a shot because Arsenal fired straight at his “lag statue.” Commentators in chat immediately dubbed it the “Frozen Wall of Madrid.”
By halftime, Madrid led 3–1, with Arsenal clinging to hope that the lag would finally catch up. Spoiler: it didn’t. Whiiz23 netted again in the second half, followed by a fifth that had even neutral fans typing “ez” in disbelief.
Rivalry Watch
Arsenal now leave the tournament wondering how they lost to a team playing on what looked like McDonald’s WiFi. Meanwhile, Madrid marches on to the semis, lag and all. If they’re this deadly when glitching, imagine what happens when their internet actually stabilizes.
Madrid captain after the match: “We weren’t lagging… we were just moving too fast for the server to process.”
Next stop: the semifinals—where opponents will have to defend not just against Madrid’s attack, but against their unpredictable teleportation powers.
