Touch Football League madness at its finest. Barcelona pulled off a last-gasp 5-4 win over Manchester United in a wild match that felt more like a boss fight than a football game. Down 2-1 early, Barça’s striker Sinner went full beast mode, smashing in a hat-trick and hitting a Fortnite dance mid-game like it was personal. United fought back to 4-4, but Adam curled in a last-minute rocket that defied physics—and crushed United’s spirit harder than their fanbase crushed their keyboards.
“I blacked out after my third goal,” said Sinner. “Woke up in the winner’s circle.”
Despite holding 72% possession, United fumbled the bag like it was a hot potato on ice. They now sit dead last in the league—a shocking twist for a squad that once acted like they were TFL royalty.
“I blame the defense. And the game. And maybe gravity,” muttered United coach Chaosftw, while staring into the digital abyss.
