Division 2 leaders remain unbeaten—and possibly immortal. Somebody call Hollywood, because Newcastle United just dropped a full movie at St. James’ Park—ending with a 3-2 win that had more twists than a TikTok conspiracy theory. Their opponent? Stade Rennais, who showed up ready to spoil the party and nearly did—twice. The match opened with Newcastle flexing early dominance, grabbing a quick goal like it was free Robux. But Rennais bounced back, equalizing before the half and talking big in the chat. The second half? Straight up warfare. Bodies flying, goals raining, egos bruised. At 2-2, just when it looked like the unbeaten streak was about to become “was,” in stepped the unexpected savior: Kimmich_24, who smashed in a last-minute winner so clean it made the goalpost blush.
“All I saw was space—and fear in their keeper’s eyes,” said Kimmich_24. “So I hit it like I meant it.”
Newcastle fans? Ecstatic. Stade Rennais fans? Reinstalling Roblox.
Still Top. Still Unbeaten. Still Him.,
With this win, Newcastle tighten their grip on Division 2 like a sweaty tryhard on sprint key. Unbeaten and unbothered, they’re now the team everyone’s pretending not to fear in press conferences.
What’s Next?,
With Newcastle sitting high, haters low, and defenders confused, the only question left is: How far can they go before reality (or lag) catches up?
